How To :: be The domestic diva of drink

As we come to the end of yet another Winter, many of you are still committed to your New Year's Resolutions, some have been long forgotten, and if you're me, they were never made. How can one make a firm decision against indulgence when you have a case-half-full of leftover champ from New Year's rockin' eve?

My solution is simple. Don't.

And please, don't let that case just linger. Spring is looming on the horizon, and before you know it, we'll be in throes of sunshine days. Here's to the dawning of the age of patio happy houring, backyard barbequing, poolside sunbathing, twilight picnicking and sacred Sunday morning brunching.

So, if you haven't already – I call a toast and give you my blessing – throw out all of those ridiculous inclinations toward the gym, cutting back on drinking + quitting smoking (you can resume them again in, oh, let's say September) and raise a glass of the beautiful bubbly to this extravagant, fantastic, wonderfully decadent time of year!

First thing's first

When it comes to wine, snobs the world over have made the whole business tricky and intimidating to the casual consumer. Wine should be an enjoyable experience, not a catalyst for an anxiety attack –

although, if you want a little Xanax with your Chardonnay, who am I to judge?

Hopefully, armed with a little information, some of the stresses and difficulties surrounding what is quite simply grape juice will wane, and you'll be left to swirl and quaff in peace.

Don't allow yourself to be bullied or snubbed by whomever it is that you're giving your precious patronage. Believe it or not, your server, wine store merchant, gay-wedding planner, not-gay wedding planner, or tasting room attendant wasn't born having mastered the art of wine. In fact, oftentimes, these people are on the other side of the wine anxiety system – in that, they're terrified you're going to know more than they do, pretend to, or ask a question that they simply can not answer.

Here's how it breaks down

You're buying a product that they're selling. It's a simple business agreement and you should have all the information you need before making the purchase. Know what you like and ask appropriate questions. If you fancy a sweet Champagne, don't be sandbagged by someone who wants to get into the sweetness versus ripeness debate. Ask for that little sweet Champagne, same goes for dry, fruity, fine bubbled and the like.

Have an idea of what you want + ask for guidance

Having a price guideline in mind is never a bad idea. It'll save time if the person peddling to you knows that you're a big spender (who's whim is nothing less than a ridiculously overpriced bottle of bubbly) or if you're the cheapest son of gun in the room.

When ordering in a restaurant (after the wine has been presented) know that when you taste, you're making sure the bottle is not off. Not that you like it. Know that having the bottle brought to the table and accepting, it now becomes your bottle. You don't get to send it back because you aren't crazy about it. That's tacky, don't do it.

Easy enough, now let's talk Champagne specifics

I'm not going to give you the whole boring history of the world here. I imagine that Mark Kurlansky will at some point give you that – much the same as he did with Salt. That, you'll have to read without my help. I just want to give you a brief outline.

Contrary to popular belief, Dom Perignon did Not invent Champagne.

Say whaa? Stay tuned! Yep, this is a good ol' fashioned two-parter.

To be continued..

What 'somewhat-melier' how to's has your Jack // Jill bestowed to you?