Listen Lulu, What you're experiencing happens a lot in the world of Jacks and Jills relationships. My advice is to first take a look at yourself. Are you one of those Jills who drop everything and everyone when starting (or being) in a romantic relationship? If you are, then you're one of those Jills. Ouch! And it's problematic not only for your Jack but for you and your John as well. If you create an expectation of always being available for your new John and the appearance of no real friends or life outside of him then he could easily get the impression that he's the only one in your life, the only one you need and see you on Dr. Phil in five years with three kids, no friends and a controlling husband with you not getting how you got there. Like everything in life, you need to create a balance. Yes, maybe you can't do absolutely everything with your Jack that you used to but you can't just disappear and then expect Jack to put your Humpty Dumpty ass back together again if and when you and John break things off. Be mature and take the sensible approach with your Jack. Take him somewhere he loves (sounds like you all ready owe him this) and do not look at your phone, text or talk about your John. Ask your Jack questions about his life and listen, really listen. When he's done then you can begin. "I know I've been distant lately. I need to see where this whole thing is going with John and I hope you'll be understanding. Yes, in crisis I will always be there but for now while this relationship is new I want to devote a lot of time to it. What can I do to let you know you're not being neglected by me? Can we make a date to go for coffee at least once a week? (every two weeks, whatever you normally do, cut in half or by a third for this recipe) I love you and cherish you and love what you're wearing today, what can I do to have my cake and not eat it with you too?" Negotiate and flatter him a lot. You'll get through it but remember that no relationship is 50/50. It's usually 40/60 one day in your favor and then 60/40 in his favor on another day. Most likely he'll find someone and do the same to you at some point so he'll understand. Communication and honesty is the key because if you don't tell him what's really going on then it's very easy for him to create scenarios in his head as to why you're not doing as much together and before you know it a wall is created that no well manicured gal can claw down. So here's the quick advice recap: 1. Look at yourself (Are you that needy girl who drops everyone for the new guy? If so, not good - fix this first) 2. Take your Jack to a place he loves and give him your undivided attention 3. Tell him what's going on and ask him what he needs from you to keep the relationship on good terms Song Solution (A sort of musical therapy in one song for this situation): Whenever I Call You Friend - Kenny Loggins Go get 'em! The Gaytriarch